Seth: *comes out of his room* Jared.

Jared: *looks over* Huh?

Seth: I need you to do something for me.

Jared: *sighs* What?

Seth: *goes up to him* Can you go to Whatshisface's and get Leanne?

Jared: ...Whatshisface's? You mean Seto? *shrugs* Okay, gives me something to do. *stands up*

Seth: Great.

Jared: Hey wait, why don't you just go pick her up?

Seth: Cause I have work to do. *goes back in his room*

Jared: ...Whatever. *goes outside and into the garage* Alright Mobilemobile, let's get rolling. *opens garage door and wheels the cart out* Okay. *gets in* Set coordinates for The Kaiba Mansion. *presses buttons and thrusters appear on the back and it blasts through the air*

*later*

Mobilemobile: *smashes into the driveway*

Jared: *crawls from the wreckage* ...Ow... *stands up* Alright I made it in one piece. *goes up to the front door and knocks on it* ...

*door opens*

Leanne: Hello?

Jared: Well that's great, it's you, let's go, Seth wants to see you.

Leanne: What? Uhh...okay. Just a minute. *goes back inside*

*just a minute later*

Leanne: *comes back out* Okay let's go.

Jared: Finally...we'll have to walk back...my vehicle got busted after smashing into the driveway.

Leanne: That's fine.

Jared: ...How is she not WONDERING how it smashed into said driveway?

*few moments later*

Jared: I am so bored...I really thought this would be exciting. *looks at Leanne* Hey Leanne, mind if I ask you a question or ten?

Leanne: Uh, sure.

Jared: Great...first question, what is the most exciting thing you've done this past week?

Leanne: This past week? Well there was actually a few events, first was the time when... *goes on*

Jared: Great...something about soup...and homeless people...and small dogs...fuck man...I wonder how long this will last?

*half an hour later*

Both: *outside the house, Leanne still yammering on about stuff*

Leanne: And then-

Jared: Leanne, Leanne, I'm sorry but that story was just awful. You mean to tell me that the highlight of your week...was FEEDING a STUPID SMALL DOG? Good GOD, you know, I'm not tryna hurt you or anything but you are fricken boring, haven't you ever lived?

Leanne: Well-

Jared: No? You never rode a dirtbike down a ramp, then doing a loop, jumping through three rings of fire while doing a triple backflip, then landing doing a spin flying off the bike into a dumpster where you had to be sent to the hospital for internal bleeding and a ruptured appendix while wearing a Donkey Kong costume?

Leanne: Well I-

Jared: You never jumped into a large cake wearing nothing but a bathing suit and a Tweety Bird foam head?

Leanne: Uh no not exact-

Jared: Next I suppose you're gonna tell me that you haven't went skydiving with a parachute filled with Cheese Hats you get from Green Bay Packer games while wearing a tophat filled with re-fried beans and saurkraut, while wearing a pair of authentic M.C Hammer parachute pants?

Leanne: That's a little-

Jared: I suppose the biggest travesty is that you never went completely and utterly berserk in a shopping mall and just started smashing everything you see in a fit of completely random bat shit crazy frenzy while wearing a Superman costume?

Leanne: ...

Jared: Then I suppose you never ramped off a ramp while wearing a Donkey Kong costume overlaid with a Superman costume a Tweety Bird foam head a tophat filled with re-fried beans and saurkraut authentic M.C Hammer parachute pants through three hoops of fire while doing a triple backflip in the air with the parachute filled with cheese hats you get from Green Bay Packers games smashing through the top window of a mall foyer landing on a cake then driving around smashing everything in sight in a frenzied rampage of randomness all while bleeding internally and having a ruptured appendix?

Leanne: ...

Jared: Wow...you have yet to discover the meaning of FUN, luckily for you, I have done all four of those things, so we're going to transform that boring dull Leanne we all know into someone who can be saved from Samaya Syndrome. You are going to have FUN!!! *grabs her arm and flies off into the air*

*much later*

Matthew: *sitting on the chair reading a pornographic magazine while sipping a cup of tea and wearing a tophat and monocle* I say.

*door gets kicked down*

Matthew: *looks over* What the hell?

Leanne: *runs in and up to Matthew* Matthew Matthew Matthew!

Matthew: What what what?

Leanne: *grabs his wrists and begins to jump around in a circle with him before stopping* Jared was all critcizing me for being boring and having something called Samaya Syndrome I don't know what he meant so me and him flew off into the air where we crashed into birds and landed on airplanes and waved to the people inside they thought they were hallucinating or something anyway we jumped off the plane wing while wearing a parachute that when opened made a bunch of cheese hats fly everywhere and then we fell into a pile of sand and the cheese hats fell everywhere around us and destroyed a windshield and caused ten different vehicle accidents at once in the same general area and then we had to run off so Jared grabbed my wrist and we went flying throught he air into a park where we smashed a drinking fountain into the ground with our bare hands and it was so fun we did other stuff that I can't remember but it was fun and- *takes a deep breath* yup. *falls back on the couch asleep*

Matthew: *wtf look* Uh...Jared?

Jared: *beside him* Yeah?

Matthew: What...did you do?

Jared: *sighs* Matthew...her idea of fun is helping things, I'm not saying its a bad thing, I'm just saying it's not very fun...you see...I have created another respectable soul...now that she knows the meaning if TRUE fun, it will enable her to take more chances, build more highly dangerous mechanics, make explosives for God's sake! And uh...if she's more outgoing she's covered by my warranty, she'll be a snap to revive if she dies.

Matthew: Jared...we have one Kaolla...we don't need another one... *thinks for a second* wait, that's not true, that's awesome, good job. *goes back into his room*

Jared: No one who enters my realm shall be normal.

Seth: *comes out of his room* Jared I thought I- *looks and sees her on the couch asleep* Oh...never mind then.

Jared: Hey Seth, what was one thing you didn't like about Leanne?

Seth: Uh...well...she's too careful, like a backseat driver, telling me I should be wearing gloves, or eye protection, or don't add so much potassium chloride you'll blow us to the moon, or don't do that you'll make chlorine gas...she was really...I don't know kind of annoying in that regard to be honest.

Jared: *goes over to him* Well Seth, those days are behind you, when Leanne wakes up, she'll be an entirely different person.

Seth: Wait...really? Wow uh...how...

Jared: I just took her to places did some things, showed her the the true meaning of having a good time, made her take some risks, she was pumped with adrenaline. Now if you want to make a bomb, she can help you, hell if you die in an explosion I'll be able to revive you both no problem, cause she's now qualified for my warranty.

Seth: Wait...she's not bat shit crazy is she?

Jared: No, but she knows what TRUE fun is, taking chances, she'll be more outgoing than last time that's for sure. She'll be comparable to say...Hailey, Hailey's never afraid to do something dangerous, yes comparable but not the same, no way no how.

Seth: I see...now I can perform human experimentations without her bickering about ethics and natural law! This is great, truly great, thanks a lot Jared I really appreciate it.

Jared: You're welcome.

Seth: *shakes his hand then goes back into his room*

Jared: Voila! I have changed two lives! You see what one can do to spicen someone else's life up? It's great...anyway I guess I'll see ya'll later! G Bye!

 

July 30th: Jared: I'm bored...and do you know what I do when I'm bored? ...I INVITE PEOPLE! *picks up a phone and dials a fifteen hundred digit number*

Sam: *bursts through the wall* WHAT?!?!?!?

Jared: I'm glad you got my call...now what?

Sam: Hmmm...

*few minutes later*

Sam: *riding a mini bicycle through several loop de loops and flips through a ring of fire over a tank of man eating sharks* Ta-da! Well, that's all I could think of. *throws the mini bicycle in a furnace* Now what?

Jared: Well...we should...oh I got it! *takes out a phone and dials a fifteen hundred digit number* ...Hello? Yes...come on up. *hangs up*

Ixion: *comes up in the elevator*

Sam: Hi Ixion!

Ixion: Hi. *looks at Jared* Sooo...what did you call me up here for?

Jared: Well, have you ever met her *points at Sam* people ever?

Ixion: I dunno...not that I recall.

Jared: Well today is your lucky day, Sam...bring your people.

Sam: Even Lita!??!?!? =D

Jared: Yeah, bring everyone.

Sam: Kay *takes out a phone and dials a fifteen hundred and one digit number*

*moments later, a portal opens and all of Sam's people spill out*

Grage: What now?

Sam: Hey Paisanos! It's the Super Mario Brothers Super Show!

All of them: *stare*

Lita: Hey...give me a slice

Jared: Well...I'm glad that you're all here...except for you. *points at Samaya* ...and you. *points at Grage* and you. *continues to point until all of Sam's people have been pointed at* Anyway, yes, you have come today to meet someone.

Jaeda: Who?

Jared: *pulls a microphone out of nowhere and the lights suddenly dim* From Seth's Labratory! Weighing in at 154 lbs! And standing at a height of 6'1! *light shines at a door and Ixion kicks it down* Ixion H. Daedalus!

Ixion: *stands there as the lights return to normal* ...Sup.

Grage: *raises eyebrow* ...I know you.

Ixion: *looks at him* ... *glares at him* You're the inconsiderate asshole who Cyrus is living with.

Cyrus: Hi Uncle Ixion...and he's mommy, not inconsiderate assho-

Jaeda: Language

Cyrus: ...English

Jaeda: ...Right...

Ixion: Nah I'm kidding, you're alright, so who is all here?

Grage: *frown*

Sam: Well, this is Grage as you already seem to know, there's Kari, leave her alone or die, there's Samaya, go ahead and throw her in the cauldron, you can make boring stew. And then there's Vlaid, Jaeda and Lita! And I'm Sam. 8D

Ixion: I see... *meanders over to Samaya* Hm... *looks her over* Mmm...nah, not exactly. *goes over to Kari* ... *looks into her eye* ...You have the same kind of shine as Brooke... *goes over to Vlaid* ...Not what I'm looking for. *goes to Jaeda* Ah yes, I do believe I recall seeing you at Big Five meetings. *and finally Lita* ... *walks back a bit* Well, what an interesting line up.

Lita: A new person...I'd like you to have this. *holds out a rubber chicken*

Ixion: *takes it and looks at it* ...? Okay.

Jared: Was that a chicken that just happened to get into Grage's unescapable grasp?

Lita: I found it in a walking dumpster!

Jared: I see... *looks at everyone* ...well don't just stand there...DO something!

Lita: *starts jigging*

Jared: That's more like it, don't mind if I do. *whips out a fiddle and literally fiddles up a storm, with rain, lightning, tornadoes and hail*

Lita: *gets sucked up by the tornado and flies through the wall into Matthew's room*

Jared: *stops and the storm disappears* whoops.

Jaeda: What...the fuck?

Jared: I have no idea.

Sam: Oh lawdy. Is she alive? MATTHEW?!?! IS LITA ALIVE?!??! She's dead
Jared: Matthew's not even here.

Sam: Oh

Lita: *bursts out another part of the wall not even connected to Matthew's room* Look what I found!! *shows everyone a terrible magazine*

Jared: OH GOOD GOD! *takes it* Yeah...Matthew found this new magazine called A Terrible Magazine...it's a terrible magazine. *tosses it through the hole in his wall*

Lita: I learned about genitalia

Jared: ...Well then.

Sam: Uh...good for you Lita...good for you

Jaeda: So what are we here for? A retard convention?

Sam: No, it's a convention convention.

Jared: That's right *nods* ... *slowly stops and listens* ...OH GOD! DUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!! *dives to the ground all slow motion*

Sam: Wha-

Geri: *smashes through the ceiling at a million miles an hour, hits the ground, creating a shockwave that blasts everyone into the void beyond the walls*

Jared: AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh.... *disappears into the void with everyone else*

Geri: ...Whoops.

*in the void*

Jared: *flying through the air with everyone else* Man it's boring in here.

Sam: What the... *sees a three eyed clown laughing hysterically* ...

Lita: *shaking it's hand* I'm Lita...Clown Joe you say...is that so...I like apples too

Samaya: *being attacked by a purple three legged snake with yellow polka dots, five heads and two eyes* AH! What the hell?! Where are we??

Jared: Beyond the walls of my house...what are you all freaking out about anyway?

Grage: *has a talking sandwich with an elephant body and paintbrushes for legs stuck in his hair* What do you mean?! There's a bunch of...whatever the hell these are everywhere!

Jared: *looks around* WHERE!? I can't see!

Some giant purple and orange parrot: There! Diagonally! GAAAAAHHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! *bursts into coils and skittles*

Sam: *is buried in penny rolls and oysters* WWRRRYYYYYYY?!?!?!?

*outside the void*

Geri: *staring into the blackness* ...They've been in there an awfully long time...I wonder why no one thought of coming back to reality?

*inside the void*

Jared: *still watching everyone* ...

*suddenly goes black for everyone*

Kari: Wh...What's going on...?

Jared: Nothing, that's all I've seen.

Kari: I want to go back to the house.

*some creepy mass of living, breathing mutilated flesh and bone with 42 eyes appears and flings Kari away*

Kari: AAAAAHHHHHhhhhhh.... *returns through the wall into the house*

*creepy mass suddenly rips in half and people resembling Jared start walking out*

Samaya: ... *shakes head and backs away* Oookay, I think I'm through with this. How do I get out? I want out!

All the people at once: There's no turning back...you must wait your turn...only then can you leave...time for creepy.

Sam: ...What

People: *split into groups and begin to surround everyone except Jared*

All of them at once: In the words of Ganon...YOU MUST DIE!!!

People: *starts restraining them onto tables*

Jaeda: Why am I being overpowered?!

Sam: I don't knoooow...Jared! Make it stop!!

Jared: Make WHAT stop?! I can't see anything!

Sam: Your clones are trying to kill us!

Jared: Clones? I don't see any clones *looks at everyone and they're just standing there with the same open mouthed white eyed stare* I'm serious! You're all just standing there!

Person: *standing over Samaya* Don't worry, this won't hurt at all. *brandishes a large dirty needle filled with hydrochloric acid, which is clearly marked on the side*

Samaya: *strapped to a table and can't move* Stay away from me!! *struggling*

Person: *proceeds to open her mouth and keep it open with a metal sharp tipped stick, which digs into the roof of her mouth* ... *stabs the tip of the needle into the back of her throat and injects the acid*

Samaya: *still thrashing and starts trying to scream*

Other person: *standing over Sam* Don't worry, this won't hurt at all. *takes out a drill and twine* Not at all. *opens her mouth and holds it open with another metal stick*

Sam: You lie! Everything hurts! *talking funny due to mouth being held open*

Person: *takes drill and proceeds to drill a hole through each of her teeth except the molars*

Sam: ...I better be getting braces... ;-;

Person: *takes small cuts of twine and proceeds to loop them into the holes, then connects the ends to a pully looking thing*

Sam: ;___; I...dun like the look of this...

Person: *holds onto a rope on the other end of the pully* Won't...hurt...a bit. *yanks down and forcibly tears out the connected teeth*

Sam: *screams in agony like the woman in the background of the playroom's music*

Jared: *walking around the lifeless bodies* What is GOING ON?!

Person: *over Vlaid who suddenly seems like they're in a regular dentist's office* Afternoon Mr. Vlaid, you're here for cleaning yes?

Vlaid: Huh...? *looks around* Where am I?

Person: So you're not here for the cleaning? Hmm...what else could you possibly need?

Vlaid: *looks confused* I...would like to find the others and get back to the house...

Person: Well I don't know what you're talking about, and since you're not here for the cleaning... *takes out a hacksaw* I don't know what to do with you.

Vlaid: Er... *feeling very uneasy* Isn't this a dentist's office...?

Person: *goes over to him* It was at one time...not anymore. *puts the hacksaw blade over his mouth* Wanna say something? Say it now or forever hold your peace...nothing? Okay then. *saws through his cheeks and right up to his jaw*

Vlaid: *isn't really able to scream much, and is bleeding profusely*

Person: Hm, looks like that has the slight possibility of getting infected, let me just wash it out. *takes out a dish of pure salt and dumps it onto the wounds* And I know just the thing to clean up all the blood. *shows him a dish of large white maggots*

Vlaid: No...Nonono...oh God no

Person: *takes one maggot out and puts it on Vlaid's tongue* Nine more. *basically dumps them all in his mouth* Oh, heh wait. *takes a maggot and places it right below his eye* Now just hold on I'm not done. *lifts up his top eyelid and puts the maggot underneath, then lifts up the bottom eyelid and puts it over the rest of the maggot* Almost. *suddenly freezes and Vlaid's pain and stuff stops*

*split second later everyone is suddenly in the house*

Jared: *lying facedown with everyone else* ... *sits up* It worked!

Sam: *pauses in screaming like the woman in the background of the playroom's music and slaps her hand to her mouth* AH! ...What the?

Vlaid: *frantically feeling his face and eye* ... *shudders* What...was that...?

Jared: *looks at the wall and it's all fixed up* Phew...well by the sounds of it, it sounded pretty fucking terrifying...but I seriously didn't see anything.

Sam: I have teeth again! Phew...

Grage: *scratching chin* ...No staples...

Vlaid: *still kinda freaked out* ...I hate maggots...

Samaya: *looking around* I can see again. *sighs in relief*

Jared: Now I hope no one blasts us through the wall again.

Jaeda: I'm going home. *opens a portal and flees*

Jared: Yeah...I guess it is aboot time then.

Kari: What WAS that place anyway?

Sam: ...You don't wanna know Kari, you do not want to know. I don't know either. But I don't like it.

Lita: *feeling her arms* Aw...now I can't make robot arms...it's all your fault! *points at Jared with both hands* TAKE THIS!! *fists detach and rocket towards him*

Jared: AH- *gets punched and flies into a pile of boxes*

Lita: *fists come back and reattach* That's RIGHT you eat pie. *nods sagely and leaves*

Jared: *suddenly back where he was before* Well then...I guess this is where we depart for now.

Sam: Indeed! Now let's get the fuck out of here. *flees out the door, followed by the rest of her people*

Jared: Okay then, I guess that's it for today, G Bye!